Make sure you understand your organisation’s bereavement policy or framework and the support available in terms of bereavement leave or access to an employee assistance programme (EAP) or counselling services if available. It might also be helpful to share the further sources of specialist support included at the end of this guide. 

Related manager behaviour 

This relates closely to the behaviour area Providing knowledge, clarity and guidance. Look at Exercise 4 for advice on how to develop this area. You can find out more about this in our section on Development Exercises for People Managers – look in particular at Exercise 4.

Ask the employee how they would like to stay in contact and the best way to maintain regular but non-intrusive contact with them while they are away from work. Sending a thoughtful card, email or text can let a bereaved employee know that you are thinking about them and care. Some employees may prefer to communicate with ‘work’ via a trusted colleague or friend in the workplace, and if so, maintain your contact through this individual.

Developing your capacity to build and sustain relationships, particularly around showing concern for people and interacting with them in a friendly way, can help with this. Empathy and compassion are vital, as is the ability to have sensitive and supportive ongoing conversations. You might find the conversation checklist below helpful for this. Even if the employee is already away from the workplace, most of these points will also apply to how you should handle a conversation via phone or online. 

Conversation checklist  

• Avoid interruptions: switch off phones, ensure colleagues can’t walk in and interrupt.  

• If you haven’t done so already, offer your condolences.  

• Be caring and compassionate.  

• Ask simple, open questions, such as, ‘How are you coping today?’  

• Ask, ‘What do you need from us?’ (as an organisation).  

• Avoid judgemental or patronising responses.  

• Speak calmly.  

• Maintain good eye contact.  

• Listen actively and carefully.  

• Encourage the employee to talk if they would like to.  

• Be prepared for some silences and be patient.  

• Avoid making assumptions or being prescriptive – the individual is the best person to know what support may help them, and one person’s experience of bereavement will rarely be the same as another’s.  

• Remember that the full impact of bereavement may not be felt for some time after the death, so support may need to be ongoing – make it clear that you are available to talk when needed.  

• It might be helpful to discuss how employees might manage difficult moments in the workplace, when they may need to take some time out. Jack’s Rainbow have developed ‘Just a Moment Cards’ for organisations to give to bereaved employees in case they need to take some time out from a meeting or be away from their desk when grief hits. More information about Jack’s Rainbow is available at the end of this guide.  

• If there are any agreed actions to help the individual, it may be helpful to follow up in a supportive email.  

This checklist has been adapted from the CIPD and Mind’s people manager’s guide to mental health.

It’s also important to discuss what bereaved employees would like communicated. It’s a good idea therefore to ask an employee what, if anything, they would like their work colleagues to know about the bereavement and if they wish to be contacted by colleagues. 

Related manager behaviour 

This relates closely to the behaviour area Building and sustaining relationships. Look at Exercise 5 for advice on how to develop this area. 

Explore in a sensitive way what extra support would be helpful to bereaved employees. Different cultures respond to death in significantly different ways. Managers should check whether the employee’s religion or culture requires them to observe any particular practices or make special arrangements. You can find out some basic information here: Death customs of different faiths. 

In some cases, members of staff may want to visit a dying relative shortly before death (for example, in the case of a terminal illness). Again, there may be particular religious or cultural reasons for doing this. You should check your organisational policy or with HR on the approach, but generally in such circumstances you should take the same approach to this as if the bereavement had already happened. 

As before, listening, treating people with respect and bringing kindness and consistency will help, together with your capacity to build and sustain relationships. If you have an HR lead, talk to them about any time off that is required and how that should be handled.

Related manager behaviour 

This relates closely to the behaviour area Being open, fair and consistent. Look at Exercise 1 for advice on how to develop this area. 

Each person will experience bereavement in different ways and will need different responses and support from their organisation. The bereavement might well have led to changes in personal circumstances, such as caring responsibilities (see CIPD guidance on becoming a carer-friendly organisation for more information). The most important thing to do is to ensure that you speak supportively to your bereaved team member to discuss when they feel they will be able to return to work, and whether they would prefer to come back to work on their usual hours or a phased return. It might also be helpful to discuss whether a temporary change of duties might be needed.

Related manager behaviour 

This relates closely to the behaviour area Providing knowledge, clarity and guidance. Look at Exercise 4 for advice on how to develop this area. 

• Be sensitive to requests for time off: It’s also important to be sensitive to and accommodating of requests for time off, wherever possible, especially around anniversaries or other special events.  

• Consider a phased return to work: A phased return to work is a way of enabling employees to return to their duties in a gradual way. It is typically adopted following illness or injury through an occupational health referral, but it can also be helpful for providing a supportive and manageable return for those that have been bereaved. If a bereaved staff member returns to work on a phased basis, they will work a reduced number of hours at first, followed by a gradual increase in workload until they reach their normal number of hours. A phased return to work usually lasts anywhere between two and six weeks but can be extended if necessary. A phased return to work plan should cater to the bereaved staff member and their specific needs. Talk to HR about any support you might need in developing this plan.  

• Be open to flexible working provisions: Flexible working options can be particularly helpful for bereaved employees in the short and longer term. In fact, flexible working is beneficial to all employees, so employers should take steps to create flexible working cultures across their organisation. Our cross-sector case studies show that flexible working in some form can be accommodated across most contexts. 

Grief will likely be ongoing for someone who has been bereaved and therefore the support that you and the organisation provide will also need to be ongoing. Everyone’s experience of grief will be different and it can take years in some cases for people to learn to manage their loss. This will also depend on the nature of the death and the state of the bereaved individual’s own mental health. The following steps can help when offering ongoing support.

Have regular conversations 

Have regular conversations with employees about how they are coping and what support they might need. As part of those conversations, discuss how employees can manage difficult moments in the workplace, when they may need to take some time out.  

Take bereavement into account when considering performance 

Approach performance conversations supportively and positively. Take any bereavement-related issues fully into account where there is underperformance on the part of an individual. Identify any extra support the person may benefit from.  

Consider the impact on other members of the team 

Consider the impact on other members of the team that bereavement leave/a phased return or changes in duties might have. Make sure that other team members are being supported if they have additional work to do and watch out for and act swiftly in relation to any bullying and harassment relating to bereavement. Be mindful that a colleague’s bereavement could also trigger feelings of grief for employees who have suffered similar losses and might therefore also need support.  

Listening, treating people with respect and bringing kindness and consistency will help you provide this support, as will your capacity to build and sustain relationships, while skill at handling conflict and people management issues may also be needed. 

Related manager behaviour  

This relates closely to the behaviour area Being open, fair and consistent. Look at Exercise 1 for advice on how to develop this area. 

It is worth considering what specific support is available within your organisation that you can draw upon if needed, like employee assistance programmes or occupational health services. If your organisation does not have those services, you might want to make use of different external helplines like those listed at the end of this guide. 

You might also want to explore how to develop your capability to remain calm under pressure and your capacity for self-compassion and self-care. Debrief sessions with your manager might also be helpful (with confidentiality and no specific case details) as well as regular wellbeing conversations and catch-ups.  

It is also important to maintain clear boundaries – it’s important to be clear on what your role is and isn’t. For example, you are there to support bereaved employees in the workplace in the short and the longer term and to put in place any reasonable adjustments they might require, but you are not a trained counsellor and you should not be counselling them.

Related manager behaviour  

This relates closely to the behaviour area Being open, fair and consistent. Look at Exercise 1 for advice on how to develop this area. 

Make sure you direct bereaved team members to helpful services and resources, if you offer them, such as occupational health and employee assistance programmes (EAP), or point to external sources of support.  

Supporting the mental and emotional wellbeing of bereaved employees is extremely important and support will often need to be ongoing. It is important to emphasise that if bereaved employees feel that the intensity of their feelings are affecting their daily lives, they should seek support and contact their GP or doctor.

Experiencing the death of a team member or co-worker can be distressing. You need to support your team but also seek to minimise any additional distress for the deceased staff member’s next of kin. Working with HR, confirm with the next of kin when and the extent of the details that may be shared with the wider team. Acas provides some helpful guidance, which is summarised below. 

• Let your team know the person has died, in an empathetic way.  

• Offer support to those affected by the death.  

• Share with staff how they can give their condolences.  

• With support from HR provide details of the funeral /ceremony, if staff have been invited. 

Talk to staff about how you can provide ongoing support to those affected by the death. Have regular catch-ups with those affected to see how they are coping and whether they need any further support. Point to your organisation’s health and wellbeing services and resources, if you offer them, such as occupational health and employee assistance programmes (EAP), otherwise signpost to external sources of support.  

Make sure that you seek support for yourself as well, making use of the same resources, where helpful.

Offer as much flexibility as possible (in terms of hours and location, as well as with workload and deadlines) to those particularly impacted by the bereavement. More information on flexible responses can earlier in this guide. 

It might be appropriate to honour the person who died. For example, with support from HR, you might consider:  

• creating a book of condolence for staff to share their memories of the person who died  

• commissioning a memorial  

• holding an event to honour the person who died, inviting the family or next of kin, if appropriate  

• organising a fundraising event in support of a particular charity, if relevant, according to the employee’s cause of death, for example heart/cancer-related.  

If there is media interest in the death, this could be incredibly distressing for the bereaved. Acknowledge and support them. Make sure your team know how confidentiality will be dealt with.  

Remember significant dates relating to the person who has died and remind your team of the support available to them.